A Fitting Look, at a Huge Mistake

Greech


OK, I’m going to make this quick, only because Danny is probably going to throw up a post as soon as he reads this, burying my post, possibly erasing it from the site altogether, and killing anyone who reads it, but that’s besides the point.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was during spring break, and the boys and I were down in Acapulco, Mexico. We had spent all day rippin monster tequila shots compliments of Pedro, sitting pool side pounding Coronas, surrounded by some incredibly hot girls (even talking to a few of them), we didn’t have a care in the world. But it wouldn’t last long, we were about to get some of the worst news most of us had ever heard. Danny was the one to deliver it to us. He came running out to the pool, his face was bright red, and none of us were sure if it was from the running, the sunburn, or that he was just really excited. When he finally caught his breath and told us the news, Leps and I didn’t want to believe it, we REFUSED to believe it, but there was no use, it had happened. The Red Sox had traded Bronson Arroyo for some big, goofy, possibly mentally challenged outfielder named Wily Mo Pena.

At the time I don’t think any of us could have honestly told you too much about Wily Mo. When I first heard the news all I knew was he was some huge Dominican guy who didn’t really have a defined position and played for the Cincinnati Reds. Danny on the other hand, who was the first to find out the news, ran to a computer to google his name in an attempt to learn some quick stats and impress us with his knowledge. I’m sure he read a few paragraphs that said Wily Mo had “Prodigious Power” (then he had to look up what “prodigious” meant), or that Wily Mo was capable of hitting the ball further than anyone else. What he failed to read was, well, probably everything that actually mattered.

The year before the Sox traded for Wily Mo, he had truck out 118 times (!!) and walked just 20 times in 311 at bats. Do you really know how bad 118 strike outs is???? That’s a strikeout every 2.7 at bats. What did Theo and his minions not have a calculator handy at the time of the trade? To give you a reference: 118 strike outs is somewhere between how many times Pedro Cerrano struck out during the Indians playoff push and how many times Lee used to strike out at McMurphs before finally getting a hold of one. No matter how you think about it 118 is A LOT. His problems didn’t just end with strikeouts either. He couldn’t catch a ball if Benny The Jet hit one into his glove, lets say he was a liability in the field at best.

On top of the fact that Wily Mo was strike out machine, we had traded a solid 4/5 started for him. We had just signed Arroyo to a deal that was by any standards a home team discount. Granted, there is a very, very good chance that he signed that deal so he could hang around in Boston and nail BC and Northeasten chicks, but whatever. Since moving to Cincinnati Bronson has flourished, becoming a workhorse for the Reds and making it to his first All Star game last year.

Then….there is Wily Mo. There is NO place for him on this team. It was a terrible trade, one that I’m sure Theo Epstein thoroughly regrets. In his two seasons with the Sox (109 games) he has struck out 109 times. Lets let that sink in 109 strikeouts….in 109 games…..yyyeah. Not only that, but he an absolutely mess in the outfield which was capped off by his two errors on ONE play a few weeks ago. To put it another way, his error to homerun ratio with the Sox is 6:13. Now I’m going to have to get Peter Gammons and Elias on a conference call to see how terribly awful that is, but why don’t we just say for now that its REALLY WICKED BAD.

Some day this might be remember as the worst trade in Red Sox history, and Danny will still be saying that it was genius, and he’ll still be waiting for Wily Mo to injure someone on Mass Ave. For one, I’m just waiting for Theo to say he fucked up, apologize to all Boston Red Sox fans, and to apologize to Bronson for screwing him after he signed a below market deal to stay in Boston. Because, if I had any say whatsoever, you’d see number 61 up there with 1, 4, 8, 9, 27 and 42 on the Fenway right-field roof. Its too bad we’ll never get that chance though, but I'll be here, waiting for the day with breath that is bated…sigh.