Look at the size of those heads!
Hey everyone, I'm back after a little break with a new post that was sort of rushed, but at least it's something. So you can stop sending us all those emails like “hey, when is Greech gonna write another article, I’ve been so bored at work lately” or “its been a while since his last post, is Greech OK?? I’ve been Googling his name everyday this past week to see if he’s still alive” or “Danny, what do you suggest I do for a really, really bad sunburn?” etc. etc….I’m back, and I’m alive, so lets get some housekeeping out of the way….
We have some big news here at TheSportsHub…..Danny Mac, the other half of the genius that is TheSportsHub, finally…….GOT. A. JOB. !!! After turning down countless Fortune 500 company, offers from every major newspaper and publication in Boston, and a gig on the next installment of The Bachelor, our boy finally landed a full time job (and can finally pay us back that 300 bucks he owes us for punching a hole in our door (for getting a $10 parking ticket)) So with DannO finally employed, and myself having a fulltime job as well, we are going to do our best here at TheSportsHub to keep up our brutal 2 posts every 3 weeks pace, seriously, we’re going to do our best….Now on to something a little more hard hitting.
If you’re a fan of baseball and don’t want it to be forever tarnished in your mind, you better stop reading now, because what I’m about to say isn’t going to be pretty. For nearly the past 20 years, probably even longer, some of our most beloved ball players have been cheating us all. I’m not talking about the kind of cheating my old roommate Jeremy used to do when we played flip cup, I’d call that more of gaining a competitive edge. I’m talking about performance enhancing drugs, namely steroids and Roger Clemens secret weapon, HGH.
For the past few years Barry Bonds has largely been the face (and enormous head) of this growing steroids problem that is facing the MLB. Bonds has been portrayed as the central target, not because of his race, but mostly due to his assault on one of sports greatest records, Hank Aaron’s 755 homeruns (and not to mention several other not-so-famous records). Not too long ago this record seemed so far beyond reach it appeared impossible that anyone would ever come close. Now, with the aid of chemical enhancements, the most hated man in baseball is going to blow by the record that stood for over thirty years. Not too long ago I was in San Francisco on a road trip and had a chance to catch a Giants game. Four of us got tickets to the game, and Warr and I were able to sneak down close and score some seats in about the 15th row behind the Giants dugout (third baseline). I’m not sure if the usher had the hots for Warr, the usher was a guy, but it was more than worth it, these were seats that you couldn’t sniff at Fenway for under 250 a pop. In the third inning Bonds got up and I snapped a few pictures, and on the 3 pitch of the at bat, he CRUSHED a ball to center field, it left the park in about 2 seconds, roughly the time it took Conboy to fall to last place in our fantasy league, number 719. The place went absolutely nuts, you would of thought that they had announced that same sex marriage was now legal in California (that actual might be legal, I’m not sure. Timmy: get back to me on this one), girls were screaming at the top of their lungs, people were highfiving and hugging everyone in site, old men were clapping in delight, old ladies were flashing everyone, and I cant speak for Warr, but I sorta got caught up in everything for a little bit, maybe for about thirty seconds, tops. Needless to say, I was pretty ashamed of myself for cheering on an admitted cheater, but still, being there in person to see Bonds hit one out in person was pretty impressive, regardless if he is the biggest cheater and the second biggest Douchbag in baseball(more on that latter). The reason I told this little story is because there a chance that Bonds could break the record in Fenway when the Giants comes to Boston for a series June 15-17. If there is a chance of this happening in Boston, I plan on paying ANY price necessary to be in there in person to get a chance at redemption. Just to be there with 36,000 other people all motivated by the singular hate for one person is going to be quite the scene.
Its kind of sad, but I can picture it now: I know its going to be tough, but in about 6 or 7 years, I’m going to be silently rooting for ARod, pinstripes or not, to break Bond’s record…..(side note: while Warr and I watched bonds hit #719 from the 15th row, our two other buddies, Webster and Wilson, were at still at a bar down the street, watch a World Cup match, I think it was the Canada vs. Vietnam or something like that. Good decision, boys.) Look at the size of those heads!
And just so I’m not the only one who didn’t chime in on Clemen’s 28 million dollar signing with the Yankees….First of all, the guy is a total Douchbag (#1 in baseball according to a recent pole done by me). Second, who interrupts a baseball game and says “I’ll be talking to y’all real soon”? This isn’t confirmed, but I think that A-Rod taught him that fist pump he did at the end of this little speech. Third, lets say he wins anywhere from TOPS 9-12 games in the four months he pitches, after you factor in what the Yankees will be paying in luxury tax, that breaks down to almost 19.7 million a win!!! (Someone check that math, I had Danny do it for me). It just seems a little ridiculous to give a soon to be 45 year old pitcher that kind of dough when he was only lasting 6 innings a start in the weak NL Central. Simply put, the guy won’t last through 5 innings in the AL East, and won’t last through 3 innings without a trip to the fried chicken stand. You’re going to have to believe me when I say that I really didn’t want Clemens to sign with the Sox, but I also didn’t want him to sign with the Yankees. Btu whatever, I’m looking forward to him coming to Fenway, having his wife forced to watch the games from her hotel room and for all the shit that the fans in Fenway are going to give him.
As always thanks for reading guys, you can reach us at TheSportsHub@gmail.com
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