The Real Roger Clemens

I'm sure everyone's heard it by now, but if you haven't, Roger Clemens announced Sunday afternoon that he will be pitching this year and it won't be in Red Sox uniform. He's heading back to the Bronx to wear the pinstripes one more time (well it could end up being more than one time the way he's been going the last few years).

Clemens left Boston after the '96 season when then-Sox GM Dan Duquette said he was in the twilight of his career. Clemens then went on about a 10-year path of revenge winning 4 Cy Young awards, 2 World Series rings, an ESPY award for Comeback Player of the Year, and was named to the MLB All-Century team.

Ok Roger, you proved your point. Duquette was wrong. And in a lot of ways it was easy to defend you. You were pushed outta Boston against your will by Duquette. Everyone thought you were finished. They were wrong. Congrats.

But this move back to New York means all bets are off with you and Boston. That farewell standing O you got a few years back after your last Fenway outing? Never happened. The steroids accusations? All true. And on top of the 'roids I'll add wife-beater, alcoholic, puppy-kicker, and possible child molester. And no doubt, Clemens is the type of guy who on a road trip with the family loads up on Mexican food, locks the car windows, turns up the heat, and just farts the entire time.

That return to Fenway is going to be ugly for you Rog. Some advice, don't bring the family to the Hub when you make your return to Yawkey Way. That story about your wife being booed and tormented til she finally left the park is nothing compared to this harassment she'll receive if she comes back. I will make sure that I am at Fenway if she's there to personally throw $50 worth of Bud Light on her (which is only like 2 beers, but still). She will be getting hit with ketchup and mustard packets, and peanut shells.

I cannot wait to see Ortiz hit a 500 walk-off foot homer off Clemens in late September to win the AL East.

And I'm actually really disappointed because I would KILL to see Trot Nixon take the Rocket deep a few more times.

Quick Update: It has just been announced by ESPN that Clemens signed a deal for a pro-rated $28 million. That averages out to about $4.5 per month. Congrats on signing over your soul to Steinbrenner.

See you at Fenway sell-out.

Any Clemens-related rants you feel like expressing, hit us up at thesportshub@gmail.com