Well the title says it all. Since neither of us posted in a week I feel the need to throw something up. I am going to totally rip off the Sports Guy here (you know, kinda like me and Greech do on a regular basis) and steal his Random Thoughts column idea. So here goes nothing:
-Congratulations to Mariano Rivera for yet another standing ovation at Fenway Park during last weekend's series. At this point, he could end up in the Hall wearing a Sox cap. I believe it's now 12 blown saves against the Beantown Bombers. Got to watch the latest one at Gillian's in Boston and I'll tell you this; seeing Crisp and Cora drive in the tying and winning runs was great. Seeing Hideki Okajima stand up to the Big Bad Yanks and close out the 9th was indescribable. That was a make or break moment for Okie, and he showed he can be the other go-to guy in the 'pen along with Pap.
-Have to say, one of my favorite moments of the weekend was Dice-K throwing at A-Rod and Jeter. One word describes it: balls. You have to love a guy that has no problem throwing at the hottest hitter in the game, and one of the most notoriously clutch hitters of the past decade. And I read a column today about the two ABs. Dice-K tipped his cap to A-Rod after hitting him, but did not tip after hitting Jeter. Now for those who haven't seen "Mr. Baseball" the tipping of the cap is a symbol of apology to the hitter saying it was not intentional. Basically what Dice was saying was "up yours Jeter". And since apparently no one else gets it, PITCH A-ROD INSIDE. Look at almost all of his homeruns. Middle of the plate and outside. He owns the outer half right now. Throw one up and in and he panics. And then when he panics, Jeter panics a little. And when Jeter panics, the entire Yankee organization falls apart right down to that guy that sings God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch.
-Back-to-back-to-back-to-back homeruns for the Sox. Ouch. And none of them were even questionable. You knew they were gone the second the left the bat. For the record, Chase Wright has been sent down to the minors, and probably won't be seen again until the episode of 60 Minutes that focuses on his mental breakdown that ended up with him institutionalized.
-For those who care, Danny Mac had a stronghold on first place for the past week and a half in our fantasy league. To no one's surprise, that stronghold is gone. I blame it on Nick Swisher for pulling a hammy, and Rich Harden going on the DL. They are easily the heart and soul of my team. Also, thanks to David Wright for his current 2-for-23 slump. Great 2nd round pick on my part there.
-Take a look at the AL East standings if you get a chance and lemme ask you this; when's the last time the Yanks were behind the Jays, O's, AND D-Rays all at the same time??
-On a quick serious note, R.I.P. David Halberstam. I was pre-journalism so I know the impact Halberstam had on America. He won a Pulitzer for questioning the entire U.S. Government during Vietnam. And then for the hell of it he went into the sports writing field and rattled off a few classics. I haven't read "Breaks of the Game" but everything I hear say it's a must read for NBA fans (heads up Greech and Hemi). I did get the chance to read "The Teammates", about Ted Williams, Bobby Doerr, Dom DiMaggio, and Johnny Pesky, which I can highly recommend. And my first Halberstam read was "October 1964", a look at the 1964 World Series between the Yanks and the Cardinals. Search the 'net folks you'll find some great tributes to Halberstam and the impact he had on America and the sports world.
-And now let's go to my "almost favorite moment of the weekend". Sitting at Gillian's on Friday night for the Rivera blown save, in the 8th inning there were 2 on and 0 out with Pedroia coming up. I looked at my buddy Sean and said pinch-hit Wily Mo. He laughed, I explained the whole "either K or HR theory to avoid a DP." The move was made, I texted Greech at the game saying BALLGAME...Wily struck out hackin'. What no one realizes is that some poor guy outside the Prudential was about 18 inches away from being killed by a screaming game-winning line drive. And this leads me to my theory on Pena, one which I've explained to the boys: Wily Mo just needs some Rec Specs. Think about it. Swings and misses by 3 feet, but when he connects he kills the ball. Can't judge a fly ball for his life. Put some Horace Grant goggles on him and start carving his name on the MVP trophy.
-Another big Sox/Yanks weekend coming up, this time in NY. I haven't looked at the pitching matchups yet, but unless the Yanks have Whitey Ford, Catfish Hunter, and Roger Clemens making their returns to the Bronx, don't be surprised if another sweep happens. Well, unless Tavarez is one of our starters then we pretty much forfeit one. Luckily, I see Jon Lester up in the bigs before Memorial Day, so the rotation will be that much stronger soon.
-Our boy Leps made a great point the other night; Dice-K (along with most of New England) hates Julian Tavarez. Watch next time the show Dice-K in the dugout with his translator. Julian does not leave him alone. Always right by his side joking around, and Dice looks like he's getting ready to boot him Chan Ho Park style. You can almost hear Dice asking his translator "who the hell is this guy, what the hell is he talking about, and what the hell language is he speaking, and can we please get him traded now??"
Thats all I got for now. I'm sure Greech is due to bust out a post soon so stay tuned. Little trip to the Electric City this weekend to see our boy Lee, so there might not be anything new 'til early next week. As usual, if you wanna drop us an email, we're at thesportshub@gmail.com
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Sox Appeal
Greech
The co-author of this site, Danny Mac, recently said to me “Dude, Schills won his last two starts, what the hell are we gonna bitch about now?” Hmmm, that’s a good question, Danny. This certainly can’t be a bad thing; in fact I would say it’s a great thing. With the Sox doing so well lately I’ve had pretty much one thing on my mind for the past week: Red Sox vs. Yankees, Fenway Park.
As it stands now the Red Sox are 8-5 and sitting atop the AL East (yeah, I know it’s only April). They recently swept the Angles, whom many have picked to win it all this year. Their new off season acquisitions are working out great, lead by the wildly overpaid JD Drew who is playing like he doesn’t have any hamstrings, quads, shoulder muscles, tendons, ligaments, or anything else that can be pulled, tweaked, popped or strained. The pitching staff, led by the re-born Josh Beckett, has been throwing great, with a team 2.61 ERA (a 2.11 ERA for the starters not including our “fifth” starter, Freddie Kruger) which is far and away the best in the American League. Jon Papelbon has been mowing people down whenever called upon, like the game last Friday against the Angles when he came into the game in the 8th to strike out Vlad on a 97 mph fastball (I was actually at this game, and although I’m sure I was wicked excited when this was going on, I don’t remember it at all). The one and only bad spot for the Sox has been Wily Mo Pena, who is not living up to huge expectations at the plate(actually, only Danny’s expectations) and is hitting just .200 on the year with only 1 RBI. Things are even worse for Wily Mo in the outfield where he has looked clumsy, out of place, lost, and, at times, more confused than Danny doing long division. The Red Sox are off to a good start, with plenty of room for improvement, but as I said earlier, I am eagerly awaiting this three games series coming up with the Yankees.
For the beginning part of this season the Yankees have been doing what they always do: score runs. Led by none other than “Mr. April”, the Yankees are off to their usual hot start at the plate. A-Rod leads the major leagues with 8 homeruns, 21 RBI and 87 way over the top enthusiastic hand claps, he also has one game winning grand slam that was followed by a home plate celebration that looked gayer than Ari Gold’s gay assistant Lloyd. All this from a guy that was about 7 seconds away from jumping in front of a moving bus, now he’s walking around the Yankee’s dugout with a big creepy grin on his face thinking to himself “They like me! They really like me!!”. I despise A-Rod, I’m just waiting for when he goes through a slump and everyone in New York starts bashing him again leading to him opting out of his remaining contract.
Despite A-Rod and some of the other Yankees luck at the plate at the start of the season, this team is different from the great Yankee teams of the late ‘90s. Only a few of the core guys that were integral to them winning those championships are left. Tino Martinez, Paul O’Neil, Scott Brosius, Steve Swindal, those guys are all gone, and aren’t coming back anytime soon. What’s left is a team with huge holes in their starting pitching and over paid, aging position players.
When the Yankees won four World Series they did so mainly by following their good starting pitching, that is not the way these days. As it stands now Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano, and Chein Ming Wang are all on the DL, which leaves Andy Pettitte, Kei Igawa, Henry Rowengartner, Mel Clark, and The Guy Who Threw The Pizza at The Red Sox Game to round out their starting five. Now I’m not sure about The Guy Who Threw The Pizza at The Red Sox Game, but I am pretty confident that Schilling, Beckett, Dice-K, and Wakefield can out pitch the other four. If any of the reaming healthy pitchers gets a hang nail you know Steinbrenner is going to throw a prorated 40 million at Clemens and try to lure Doc Gooden out of retirement with an 8ball of coke and a warm case of Colt 45s.
The problems with this Yankees team doesn’t just end with their starting pitching. The usually reliable Derek Jeter hasn’t been playing well in the field, he already has 6 errors, almost half way to his 15 last year that was just OK enough it allowed him to steal the Gold Glove from Alex Gonzalez. Jason Giambi’s best hitting days are at least 35 cycles and 5 years behind him, Mariano Rivera is FINALLY looking like a 38 year old closer with about 45,000 miles on his shoulder, people around baseball are actually talking about Bernie Williams playing for the Yankees, and Joe Torre may or may not even be alive and I have a feeling he is about 1-2 years away from wearing Don Zimmerman’s army helmet in the dugout.
All in all I have a good feeling about this series coming up. We have Schilling going on Friday night, a game I will be attending, and hopefully will be remembering, Beckett is going on Saturday and Dice-K is scheduled to pitch the Sunday game. Like I pointed out earlier, we could probably beat any three Yankee starters with the staff from the ’96 American League Blue Jays, but if you can’t get excited about the three guys we have going, then I don’t know what I can do for you. What I will do for you is give you a heads up. Check out this link, before some ass Yankee fan gives it to you. Be warned, it’s not a pretty sight, but if you’re anything like me you’ll spend about 45 minutes watching all the other ones and you’ll try to forget about it as fast as you can.
As always, thanks for reading guys (and girl). You can send us a message at TheSportsHub@gmail.com , we sure do love hearing from our fans . (by the way, we are up NINE (9!) suscribing readers, thank you everyone.)
The co-author of this site, Danny Mac, recently said to me “Dude, Schills won his last two starts, what the hell are we gonna bitch about now?” Hmmm, that’s a good question, Danny. This certainly can’t be a bad thing; in fact I would say it’s a great thing. With the Sox doing so well lately I’ve had pretty much one thing on my mind for the past week: Red Sox vs. Yankees, Fenway Park.
As it stands now the Red Sox are 8-5 and sitting atop the AL East (yeah, I know it’s only April). They recently swept the Angles, whom many have picked to win it all this year. Their new off season acquisitions are working out great, lead by the wildly overpaid JD Drew who is playing like he doesn’t have any hamstrings, quads, shoulder muscles, tendons, ligaments, or anything else that can be pulled, tweaked, popped or strained. The pitching staff, led by the re-born Josh Beckett, has been throwing great, with a team 2.61 ERA (a 2.11 ERA for the starters not including our “fifth” starter, Freddie Kruger) which is far and away the best in the American League. Jon Papelbon has been mowing people down whenever called upon, like the game last Friday against the Angles when he came into the game in the 8th to strike out Vlad on a 97 mph fastball (I was actually at this game, and although I’m sure I was wicked excited when this was going on, I don’t remember it at all). The one and only bad spot for the Sox has been Wily Mo Pena, who is not living up to huge expectations at the plate(actually, only Danny’s expectations) and is hitting just .200 on the year with only 1 RBI. Things are even worse for Wily Mo in the outfield where he has looked clumsy, out of place, lost, and, at times, more confused than Danny doing long division. The Red Sox are off to a good start, with plenty of room for improvement, but as I said earlier, I am eagerly awaiting this three games series coming up with the Yankees.
For the beginning part of this season the Yankees have been doing what they always do: score runs. Led by none other than “Mr. April”, the Yankees are off to their usual hot start at the plate. A-Rod leads the major leagues with 8 homeruns, 21 RBI and 87 way over the top enthusiastic hand claps, he also has one game winning grand slam that was followed by a home plate celebration that looked gayer than Ari Gold’s gay assistant Lloyd. All this from a guy that was about 7 seconds away from jumping in front of a moving bus, now he’s walking around the Yankee’s dugout with a big creepy grin on his face thinking to himself “They like me! They really like me!!”. I despise A-Rod, I’m just waiting for when he goes through a slump and everyone in New York starts bashing him again leading to him opting out of his remaining contract.
Despite A-Rod and some of the other Yankees luck at the plate at the start of the season, this team is different from the great Yankee teams of the late ‘90s. Only a few of the core guys that were integral to them winning those championships are left. Tino Martinez, Paul O’Neil, Scott Brosius, Steve Swindal, those guys are all gone, and aren’t coming back anytime soon. What’s left is a team with huge holes in their starting pitching and over paid, aging position players.
When the Yankees won four World Series they did so mainly by following their good starting pitching, that is not the way these days. As it stands now Mike Mussina, Carl Pavano, and Chein Ming Wang are all on the DL, which leaves Andy Pettitte, Kei Igawa, Henry Rowengartner, Mel Clark, and The Guy Who Threw The Pizza at The Red Sox Game to round out their starting five. Now I’m not sure about The Guy Who Threw The Pizza at The Red Sox Game, but I am pretty confident that Schilling, Beckett, Dice-K, and Wakefield can out pitch the other four. If any of the reaming healthy pitchers gets a hang nail you know Steinbrenner is going to throw a prorated 40 million at Clemens and try to lure Doc Gooden out of retirement with an 8ball of coke and a warm case of Colt 45s.
The problems with this Yankees team doesn’t just end with their starting pitching. The usually reliable Derek Jeter hasn’t been playing well in the field, he already has 6 errors, almost half way to his 15 last year that was just OK enough it allowed him to steal the Gold Glove from Alex Gonzalez. Jason Giambi’s best hitting days are at least 35 cycles and 5 years behind him, Mariano Rivera is FINALLY looking like a 38 year old closer with about 45,000 miles on his shoulder, people around baseball are actually talking about Bernie Williams playing for the Yankees, and Joe Torre may or may not even be alive and I have a feeling he is about 1-2 years away from wearing Don Zimmerman’s army helmet in the dugout.
All in all I have a good feeling about this series coming up. We have Schilling going on Friday night, a game I will be attending, and hopefully will be remembering, Beckett is going on Saturday and Dice-K is scheduled to pitch the Sunday game. Like I pointed out earlier, we could probably beat any three Yankee starters with the staff from the ’96 American League Blue Jays, but if you can’t get excited about the three guys we have going, then I don’t know what I can do for you. What I will do for you is give you a heads up. Check out this link, before some ass Yankee fan gives it to you. Be warned, it’s not a pretty sight, but if you’re anything like me you’ll spend about 45 minutes watching all the other ones and you’ll try to forget about it as fast as you can.
As always, thanks for reading guys (and girl). You can send us a message at TheSportsHub@gmail.com , we sure do love hearing from our fans . (by the way, we are up NINE (9!) suscribing readers, thank you everyone.)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hot Cheese Up Front
I have been absolutely hysterically laughing for about 2 days now at the video of the guy in the left field grandstand at Fenway getting hit with a slice of pizza (by the way I hope my UMass peeps are feelin' the Antonio's reference in the title). For those who haven't seen it yet check this out.
This is up there already as one of my favorite videos ever. The throw was absolutely perfect. This guy managed to toss the slice so perfectly that it hit the other guy's shoulder cheese-side down. That's skill. Give that guy 100 shots in the exact same situation and there's no way it hits that way again. Just an all around clutch performance. And don't forget he pulled this off about 4 people away from the victim, during a game, with Garrett Anderson no more than 5 feet away, in front of 35,000+ people, in rainy Nor'Easter conditions. The timing was absolutely perfect as the camera caught it dead on. Just flat out impressive. I'm thinking of signing this guy as one of my closers for my fantasy team.
Onto some other thoughts from the weekend:
-Congratulations to whoever won the Boston Marathon. You managed to run 26 miles for no real reason. I also would like to apologize to the unfortunate runners that were forced to see me with my shorts around my ankles because I have some extremely immature friends. Let's grow up guys, seriously. At least there was justice and my buddy Craig was actually KICKED OUT OF THE BOSTON MARATHON. So add the Marathon to an ever growing list that includes every bar directly outside of Faneuil Hall (Purple Shamrock area), most of Faneuil Hall, the Catholic church, and probably 3 different Chuck E. Cheese's for ruining a 7 year old's birthday party because the kid won enough tickets to take the switchblade comb that Craig wanted. (The last one is just a guess but I'd be willing to bet on it being true)
-Some advice for everyone: DO NOT try to re-enact the scene from the opening of Kingpin where Woody Harrelson drops into a split while bowling. It WILL cost you a pair of jeans. But then again it leads to a ton of laughs and seeing your jeans ripped in half hanging on a deerhead in a Brookline apartment. On second thought, I do recommend trying this at least once.
-Speaking of Kingpin, I have to recommend that everyone make a stop by Kings in Boston for a night of bowling. Scorpion Bowls + seeing the bowling ball with the rose in it that Bill Murray used in Kingpin = an awesome night. And if I ever find out how to get pictures from my cell phone onto this site, I will gladly share the proof that it exists.
-And finally congratulations to me for taking a stronghold on 2nd place in fantasy. You all doubted me. Losers.
-QUICK UPDATE: Wily Mo Pena just killed a guy in deep centerfield in Toronto with a ball that came off the bat at approximately 374 mph. Just wait boys, legend in the making.
Feel free to fill up the ol' inbox at thesportshub@gmail.com.
This is up there already as one of my favorite videos ever. The throw was absolutely perfect. This guy managed to toss the slice so perfectly that it hit the other guy's shoulder cheese-side down. That's skill. Give that guy 100 shots in the exact same situation and there's no way it hits that way again. Just an all around clutch performance. And don't forget he pulled this off about 4 people away from the victim, during a game, with Garrett Anderson no more than 5 feet away, in front of 35,000+ people, in rainy Nor'Easter conditions. The timing was absolutely perfect as the camera caught it dead on. Just flat out impressive. I'm thinking of signing this guy as one of my closers for my fantasy team.
Onto some other thoughts from the weekend:
-Congratulations to whoever won the Boston Marathon. You managed to run 26 miles for no real reason. I also would like to apologize to the unfortunate runners that were forced to see me with my shorts around my ankles because I have some extremely immature friends. Let's grow up guys, seriously. At least there was justice and my buddy Craig was actually KICKED OUT OF THE BOSTON MARATHON. So add the Marathon to an ever growing list that includes every bar directly outside of Faneuil Hall (Purple Shamrock area), most of Faneuil Hall, the Catholic church, and probably 3 different Chuck E. Cheese's for ruining a 7 year old's birthday party because the kid won enough tickets to take the switchblade comb that Craig wanted. (The last one is just a guess but I'd be willing to bet on it being true)
-Some advice for everyone: DO NOT try to re-enact the scene from the opening of Kingpin where Woody Harrelson drops into a split while bowling. It WILL cost you a pair of jeans. But then again it leads to a ton of laughs and seeing your jeans ripped in half hanging on a deerhead in a Brookline apartment. On second thought, I do recommend trying this at least once.
-Speaking of Kingpin, I have to recommend that everyone make a stop by Kings in Boston for a night of bowling. Scorpion Bowls + seeing the bowling ball with the rose in it that Bill Murray used in Kingpin = an awesome night. And if I ever find out how to get pictures from my cell phone onto this site, I will gladly share the proof that it exists.
-And finally congratulations to me for taking a stronghold on 2nd place in fantasy. You all doubted me. Losers.
-QUICK UPDATE: Wily Mo Pena just killed a guy in deep centerfield in Toronto with a ball that came off the bat at approximately 374 mph. Just wait boys, legend in the making.
Feel free to fill up the ol' inbox at thesportshub@gmail.com.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
So Long Drew
If you haven't seen it yet, check out what I hope becomes a staple of this site, Greech's 38Bitches. Kid's a legend in the making, and I am proud to share this site with him even if he feels the need to bring up misjudgments in facial hair (which he is 110% jealous of because the kid doesn't even own a razor) and skips out on #20-36 (and blames me because he's not creative enough to think of 38 things. Personally I woulda gone with something like Troy Brown's number (80 btw Greech) because I'm good like that and don't short-change our 8 fans). Anyways check that out and then read on.
No that title isn't some kind of knock on JD, he's actually been pretty damn impressive for the Sox so far. The Drew in mention is former Patriots QB, Drew Bledsoe, who announced his retirement yesterday.
Bledsoe had some great years here in New England. Sad to say the most memorable thing about Drew will be the hit he took from Mo Lewis that led to the beginning of the legend known as Tom Brady. And now about 6 years later, Drew is being pushed out of town by another young QB on the rise, and Brady is knocking up some of the hottest girls in the world. Brady 1, Drew 0. Actually it's really more like Brady 38, Drew 0, but who's really keeping track.
I think what I will remember most about Drew is the 2002 AFC Championship where Brady went down, and Bledsoe stepped back on the field for the Pats and led the way to a huge win. That pass in the back of the end zone to David Givens (you know the one, can't find a clip to it though sorry) was probably the best throw of his entire career.
Actually, that whole thing is a lie. The thing I will remember most was easily the patented Bledsoe "drop back 20 steps, look at every receiver on the field 3 times, panic, and instead of taking the sack, throw the ball in the direction of the receiver with the most defensive backs surrounding them for a pick." That became about 500 times more entertaining when he was doing it for Buffalo and Dallas.
Here's a breakdown of Drew's career you might like. He's top 10 in completions and yardage all-time for QB's. Looks like a Hall of Famer to me. Should be interesting to see how that turns out in a few years. He's gotta be a lock though. Between making way for 2 young franchise QB's and turning the panic interception into such a big part of our lives, I give him the nod.
Thanks Drew, Tom Brady never woulda been a star if it wasn't for you. And the Pats wouldn't have three Super Bowl banners hanging at Gillette if it wasn't for you. Actually that should be a thanks to Mo Lewis, but since you're retiring we'll give you the credit.
No that title isn't some kind of knock on JD, he's actually been pretty damn impressive for the Sox so far. The Drew in mention is former Patriots QB, Drew Bledsoe, who announced his retirement yesterday.
Bledsoe had some great years here in New England. Sad to say the most memorable thing about Drew will be the hit he took from Mo Lewis that led to the beginning of the legend known as Tom Brady. And now about 6 years later, Drew is being pushed out of town by another young QB on the rise, and Brady is knocking up some of the hottest girls in the world. Brady 1, Drew 0. Actually it's really more like Brady 38, Drew 0, but who's really keeping track.
I think what I will remember most about Drew is the 2002 AFC Championship where Brady went down, and Bledsoe stepped back on the field for the Pats and led the way to a huge win. That pass in the back of the end zone to David Givens (you know the one, can't find a clip to it though sorry) was probably the best throw of his entire career.
Actually, that whole thing is a lie. The thing I will remember most was easily the patented Bledsoe "drop back 20 steps, look at every receiver on the field 3 times, panic, and instead of taking the sack, throw the ball in the direction of the receiver with the most defensive backs surrounding them for a pick." That became about 500 times more entertaining when he was doing it for Buffalo and Dallas.
Here's a breakdown of Drew's career you might like. He's top 10 in completions and yardage all-time for QB's. Looks like a Hall of Famer to me. Should be interesting to see how that turns out in a few years. He's gotta be a lock though. Between making way for 2 young franchise QB's and turning the panic interception into such a big part of our lives, I give him the nod.
Thanks Drew, Tom Brady never woulda been a star if it wasn't for you. And the Pats wouldn't have three Super Bowl banners hanging at Gillette if it wasn't for you. Actually that should be a thanks to Mo Lewis, but since you're retiring we'll give you the credit.
FYI, I really wanted to find a pic of Drew launching a prayer from a 45 degree angle to the ground with 3 D-linemen destroying him, but I'm too lazy and that one above is the classy thing to do. Adios Drew. And seriously, if you haven't yet, check out Greech's 38Bitches, it's totally worth it. And yea that's right bro I link to you twice in one post. I'm that kinda guy. Remember that.
Hit us up at thesportshub@gmail.com.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
38Bitches
I can’t quite put my finger on it, but for some reason I haven’t fully gotten into “baseball season is finally here” mode. Maybe it’s because the Red Sox didn’t make the playoffs last year, didn’t even finish second in the East. Maybe it’s because they are off to a slower start than I first expected, maybe it’s because Julian Tavares is our fifth starter, maybe it’s because I’m single and still living at my parent’s house. Who really knows why?? What I do know is I need to find someway to get out of my current Red Sox induced funk. After some thought I figured that maybe if I just did some venting here on the blog, or bloventing as I like to call it, I could get some things off my chest and get ready for a long baseball. So, in an ode to our Ace Pitcher’s blog ‘38Pitches’ I thought I’d do something like ‘38Bitches’, just a collection of random thoughts that have been on my mind lately.
- When is NESN going to put a Japanese translator in the booth with Remy and Orsillo so we can finally be told what these signs say? They are constantly showing a group of Japanese fans holding up a sign with words on it that 99.99% of the audience can’t read. It just makes sense to have someone in the booth that can translate them, that’s all I’m saying.
- The Red Sox bullpen is terrible. Just look at this group of guys: Romero, Pinero, Lopez (since optioned to Pawtucket) Taverez (wait, is he actual our fifth starter?) and the 68 year old Mike Timlin. Luckily our closer is a stud capable of sitting any 3 hitters in the league down in order. I was thinking about it today at work, and if I had to describe Papelbon in three words they would be: “hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable”. Yeah, I think those do a pretty good job.
- It sucks that ARod had to go and have a monster first week, because he was only a few boos away from having a Jesse Spano “I'm so excited” breakdown. I was really looking forward to the day when a sobbing ARod was getting consoled by Jeter in the dugout while mumbling “im so excited, I just cant hide it, im so excited…im so scared” There is still a definite possibility of this happening, but now we just have to wait a little longer.
- Is the entire Red Sox team trying to make me feel better about not being able to grow facial hair? Just look at Manny, Ortiz and Youk. I haven’t seen anyone with such ugly facial hair since my boy Danny Mac rocked a mustache all junior year.
- I was watching the Lakers Phoenix game this past Saturday and they showed a shot of Jack Nicholson sitting there with his Yankees hat on. That’s bullshit. Picking two of the most successful franchises in the history of sports when they are on opposite sides of the country is, well, its bullshit. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jack jumped on the Houston Comets bandwagon during their run of WNBA championships in the late 90s. Now hopefully he doesn’t read this and come to my house and kick my ass.
- Julian Taverez is our fifth starter. This is the guy who once got into a fight with a bullpen phone. And lost.
- You know those shows on TV “Man vs. Wild” and “Survivor Man”? Well after watching about 20 hours worth of both of them online I’ve come to the conclusion that they are about as legit as “The Real World”. Patrick Swayze kicking everyone’s ass at The Double Duce is more believable than most of the stuff these guys do. But if you’re ever with me and we get stranded in the artic with a hatchet, some flint, 18 ounces of seal fat, a compass, and a broken down snowmobile, I’m pretty sure we’ll last at least through the night.
- Have you ever heard a more uninformed/lost/biased announcer that Joe Morgan? The guy went on for 2 innings about Ortiz getting “Cramped” and still managing to hit his second homerun of the night. I don’t even know what that means, but maybe David should eat some bananas, I hear those are good for cramps.
- In case you didn’t hear Ichiro’s quote the other day, allow me to fill you in. He said about facing Dice-K. “it arouses the fire in my soul”. I think after his playing days are over Ichiro has a long career writing for Days of Our Lives.
- Did I mention that Julian Taverez is our fifth starter? Yeah, he really is.
- Has everyone heard all the trouble that Don Imus has been causing with his “racist” remarks about Rutgers Women’s Basketball Team? I didn’t even know who this guy was before this week. I guess he was Howard Stern before Howard Stern and Howard K. Stern, were both Howard Stern, respectively.
- Speaking of Howard K. Stern, It turns out that he’s not the father of Anna Nicoles kid, Larry Birkhead is. After a battery of tests in the Bahamas, including “who does the baby look more like” and “do you really think that Anna Nicole would have sex with that Howard K Stern guy?” the doctors said that Larr was the dad.
- Also, in case you didn’t know, Larr did an episode of Entourage a while back; he was assigned to find work for drama. Unfortunately Lloyd beat him to it, and unfortunately like 3,785 guys beat him to Anna Nicole too.
- SOOO in case you missed it The Inferno III aired last night on MTV. I wasn’t aware of this until I received a frantic IM from Danny Mac at about 10:05 saying something along the lines of “Greech…the Inferno is back…and so are ABE AND ALTON!!!” This was probably followed by Mac having to breathe into a paper bag for about 7 minutes and wipe large amounts of sweat off his forehead. Lets just say he was really excited.
- Speaking of The Inferno, Billerica’s own Danny is on this season and he’s on the Bad Ass team. Isn’t this the same guy who proposed to his girlfriend on an MTV show during a horse and carriage ride through NYC? (My roommate Davey made me watch it). I’m not sure if that qualifies as “Bad Ass”.
- This is an actual quote from Danny about one of the challenge they did on the show that involved them climbing ladders: “This is what I do everyday. This is what I do for a living. I climb up ladders and build houses.” Somewhere in Billerica that smoking hot blonde chick he married is locked in a bathroom with a box of bon-bons crying her eyes out.
- As mentioned earlier, Danny Mac’s boy Abe is back. If I had to guess what he’s been doing in his time off since his failed steroid test (MTV began testing shortly after Alton Dominated The Inferno I) Id say not all that much. I’m guessing that a failed attempt at a WWF career landed him at a Golds Gym in his home town doing personal training sessions for elderly ladies followed by a few domestic violence charges and a battle with an oxycontin addiction. But that’s just a guess, I really don’t know.
- Do you think that one of Abe’s roommates gave him his haircut? Because it reminds me of this time my buddy Sean gave our buddy Haris a haircut. First of all, never give a haircut at 4 am after a night at the bars. Haris’ hair just kept getting shorter and shorter, but when we went to bed we all agreed it looked pretty good. When we woke up, well, he looked sorta like Abe does, except Haris is Bosnian.
- In case you missed the end of the show, after Alton was emasculated by Abe in the challenge that Danny “does for a living” Alton took some guys place in the inferno and got matched up against…….TYRIE. Ladies and Gentlemen get ready to witness MTV history!!! The first all black Inferno!! This is right up there with Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith coaching against each other in the Super Bowl, absolutely historic stuff. I am really excited for this, but if you think Alton is a lock, think again, think Tyson-Douglas. (but seriously, I know he wins. They did the “this season…..in The Inferno” and I saw Alton. Was there any chance in a million years that Tyrie would beat Alton? I say no way, this thing is going to be more one sided than the fight Billerica Danny got into on his season of Real World)
37. Yeah, I just skipped 20-36. I’m getting lazy, I blame it on Danny.
38. I'm going to the game on Friday against LA and the Friday after that against the Yankees, so hopefully by then I'll have something that i can actual form into one coherent 'article'
I gotta go now, it’s been a long day. As always, thanks for reading. You can reach us at TheSportsHub@gmail.com
Monday, April 9, 2007
Looking Back at Week 1 for the Sox
Before I get into the Sox opening week, there's a few things I feel need to be mentioned:
First off I would like to welcome Johnny Drama, Turtle, E, Vince, and Ari back into all of our lives. I think I speak for all of us when I say I cannot wait to see where you take us over the next 8 weeks. Also, congratulations to Drama for the pilot. No doubt it's gonna be huge.
A special thanks to all the boys for FINALLY getting me to see Grandma's Boy, which cracked my Top 5 All-Time Funniest First Time Viewings joining Saving Silverman, Wedding Crashers, Tommy Boy, and 40-Year old Virgin. Could not have been any happier with Grandma's Boy, and it's seriously making me consider getting metal legs even though I know it's a risky operation.
Another welcome back, this time to Andy. We all knew you would graduate from anger management the same way you graduated from Cornell....on time (I know only like 10 people got that joke, but luckily all 10 read this blog).
Congratulations to Zach Johnson for fending off a surging Tiger Woods on Sunday to win the Masters. Sad to say that this won't be remembered as the Masters that Zach Johnson won, it will be remembered as the Masters that Tiger broke a 5-iron on a tree on 11, dropped a ball onto the green from 195 yards out that hit the back end of the green a good 50-60 feet away and rolled back to within 5 feet of the hole to set up an eagle for Tiger. No doubt, those two highlights will be running for much longer than Johnson's final putt.
And now that all of that's outta the way let's talk about the Sox.
After a disturbing Opening Day in Kansas City, the Sox went on to finish the week at 3-3. Schill looked awful in the opener, but last night threw a great game against a solid Texas offense. Looks like the motivation of losing his spot as the ace to Beckett or Dice-K could be what the big fella needs to get in gear.
Speaking of Dice-K, what an awesome debut. Dice threw 7 innings, struck out 10, and gave up 1 run. More importantly, he just looked like he'd been there before. This didn't look like any rookie performance. Someone please just hand him the Rookie of the Year Award now and save us 6 months.
The 3-4 combo of Papi and Manny struggled this week, but that won't last long. Ortiz actually looked like he found his swing in the Rangers' series finale with the 2 homeruns. I'm pretty sure the first one only made it about 10 feet off the ground might have cracked a few ribs on the poor guy standing in it's way. Manny shouldn't be too far behind.
For those who didn't hear, Jon Lester threw 4 innings last week for the Single-A Greenville Drive, had 5 K's and hit 96 mph on the gun. The plane ticket to Logan is already purchased, it's just a matter of when we will see Lester back at Fenway. That should be a nice little boost for the staff.
J.D Drew looked great in the first week. He hit .391 and drove in 2 runs, made a great catch in the gap on Opening Day, and looks like he should clean up any leftovers that Ortiz and Manny happen to leave on the table. But J.D., some advice; don't expect to hear too many cheers at Fenway during the home opener. You're playing great, and living up to expectations, but the bottome line is this: your wearing Trot's number and playing on Trot's piece of land. Eventually we'll come around, but it's gonna be a while. And when Cleveland visits Boston later this year if I were you I'd just take the day off unless your hitting well over .400 because there's no way in hell you'll be getting the same reception as Mr. Nixon when he comes home.
And finally let's give it up for Jon Papelbon. Unbelievable performance in the Rangers finale. Came in with the bases loaded and one out in the 8th and slammed the door shut. Pap made Michael Young look like Greech on a wiffleball field with three 95+ mph fastballs. So glad the Sox office realized Pap belongs out there when the game is on the line. And I know there were all the concerns about his arm not being able to hold up in September, but believe it or not I think there's training programs that would probably get his arm in the right shape to handle it. There have been some amazing advances in physical training over the years. Just ask Barry Bonds, he's over 40 and in the best shape of his life and it's all natural.
The sight of Papelbon with the ball in his hand in the 9th is going to become the most relaxing vision in Boston real soon. He's a lock. He's got the intensity of Eric Gagne and the poise of Mariano Rivera on the hill. He'll blow the 96 mph gas right by you, then break off a splitter and get you chasing. There's nothing that fazes this kid out there. He's like Danny Noonan on the 18th in the Caddy Tournament when everyone starts shouting 'NOONAN' as he's lining up his final putt. He's Bird in the 4th quarter. For a comparison that hits even closer, he's Papi in the 9th with runners on.
If you'd like to reach us feel free to drop us a line at thesportshub@gmail.com
First off I would like to welcome Johnny Drama, Turtle, E, Vince, and Ari back into all of our lives. I think I speak for all of us when I say I cannot wait to see where you take us over the next 8 weeks. Also, congratulations to Drama for the pilot. No doubt it's gonna be huge.
A special thanks to all the boys for FINALLY getting me to see Grandma's Boy, which cracked my Top 5 All-Time Funniest First Time Viewings joining Saving Silverman, Wedding Crashers, Tommy Boy, and 40-Year old Virgin. Could not have been any happier with Grandma's Boy, and it's seriously making me consider getting metal legs even though I know it's a risky operation.
Another welcome back, this time to Andy. We all knew you would graduate from anger management the same way you graduated from Cornell....on time (I know only like 10 people got that joke, but luckily all 10 read this blog).
Congratulations to Zach Johnson for fending off a surging Tiger Woods on Sunday to win the Masters. Sad to say that this won't be remembered as the Masters that Zach Johnson won, it will be remembered as the Masters that Tiger broke a 5-iron on a tree on 11, dropped a ball onto the green from 195 yards out that hit the back end of the green a good 50-60 feet away and rolled back to within 5 feet of the hole to set up an eagle for Tiger. No doubt, those two highlights will be running for much longer than Johnson's final putt.
And now that all of that's outta the way let's talk about the Sox.
After a disturbing Opening Day in Kansas City, the Sox went on to finish the week at 3-3. Schill looked awful in the opener, but last night threw a great game against a solid Texas offense. Looks like the motivation of losing his spot as the ace to Beckett or Dice-K could be what the big fella needs to get in gear.
Speaking of Dice-K, what an awesome debut. Dice threw 7 innings, struck out 10, and gave up 1 run. More importantly, he just looked like he'd been there before. This didn't look like any rookie performance. Someone please just hand him the Rookie of the Year Award now and save us 6 months.
The 3-4 combo of Papi and Manny struggled this week, but that won't last long. Ortiz actually looked like he found his swing in the Rangers' series finale with the 2 homeruns. I'm pretty sure the first one only made it about 10 feet off the ground might have cracked a few ribs on the poor guy standing in it's way. Manny shouldn't be too far behind.
For those who didn't hear, Jon Lester threw 4 innings last week for the Single-A Greenville Drive, had 5 K's and hit 96 mph on the gun. The plane ticket to Logan is already purchased, it's just a matter of when we will see Lester back at Fenway. That should be a nice little boost for the staff.
J.D Drew looked great in the first week. He hit .391 and drove in 2 runs, made a great catch in the gap on Opening Day, and looks like he should clean up any leftovers that Ortiz and Manny happen to leave on the table. But J.D., some advice; don't expect to hear too many cheers at Fenway during the home opener. You're playing great, and living up to expectations, but the bottome line is this: your wearing Trot's number and playing on Trot's piece of land. Eventually we'll come around, but it's gonna be a while. And when Cleveland visits Boston later this year if I were you I'd just take the day off unless your hitting well over .400 because there's no way in hell you'll be getting the same reception as Mr. Nixon when he comes home.
And finally let's give it up for Jon Papelbon. Unbelievable performance in the Rangers finale. Came in with the bases loaded and one out in the 8th and slammed the door shut. Pap made Michael Young look like Greech on a wiffleball field with three 95+ mph fastballs. So glad the Sox office realized Pap belongs out there when the game is on the line. And I know there were all the concerns about his arm not being able to hold up in September, but believe it or not I think there's training programs that would probably get his arm in the right shape to handle it. There have been some amazing advances in physical training over the years. Just ask Barry Bonds, he's over 40 and in the best shape of his life and it's all natural.
The sight of Papelbon with the ball in his hand in the 9th is going to become the most relaxing vision in Boston real soon. He's a lock. He's got the intensity of Eric Gagne and the poise of Mariano Rivera on the hill. He'll blow the 96 mph gas right by you, then break off a splitter and get you chasing. There's nothing that fazes this kid out there. He's like Danny Noonan on the 18th in the Caddy Tournament when everyone starts shouting 'NOONAN' as he's lining up his final putt. He's Bird in the 4th quarter. For a comparison that hits even closer, he's Papi in the 9th with runners on.
If you'd like to reach us feel free to drop us a line at thesportshub@gmail.com
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Wait...We Lost to the ROYALS?!?!?!?
Greech had the honor of picking apart Big Schill and the Sox after their season opener (check it out here) so I guess I'll follow suit and take on Josh Beckett's first start. Still down in KC to take on the Big Blue Machine known as the Royals, at least they looked like the Big Blue Machine Monday afternoon. I managed to steal Beckett in the late rounds of our fantasy draft mostly so Leps couldn't have him. By the way congrats to my partner in crime The Greech for taking a commanding lead on Day One. It's gametime so let's get started. Hopefully I can be positive throughout and don't have to deal with watching Tony Pena's kid make the Sox look like, well, the Royals I guess.
The phenomenal Odalis Perez gets the ball tonight for KC. If we can't beat Odalis Freakin' Perez I'm becoming a Bruins fan.
Julio Lugo leads off the game with a groundout. Have to say I am finally on the Lugo Bandwagon. I was anti-Lugo for the past 3 seasons as his name came up in Sox trade rumors constantly, but everything I've read about him gets me excited. The Orlando Cabrera comparisons are what does it for me. Everyone talks about his upbeat enthusiastic attitude, and that's something that's been missing since 2004. Hopefully Lugo brings back that loose, "have fun" mentality that led to a ring. And I think I might lose it when the first Lugo-Ortiz 15-second handshake happens on camera.
JD Drew picked up his first RBI of the season on a double. Lotta questions need to be answered concerning JD in '07. Can he live up to the contract? Can he replace Trot in RF? Will he pay homage to Trot by dousing his cap in pine tar? How long before he's on the DL? How long before the Nixon chants start up at Fenway? Does any of this even phase him in the least?
I'm gonna be the first one to say it. You will all love Dustin Pedroia by the end of this season. I saw the baserunning blunder from Opening Night like everyone else, and yea for a guy that's here for his defense and baserunning skills that was atrocious. But just wait, come September this guy is going to have a Kapler-like following in Beantown. You know, unless we send him back down to Triple-A and overspend on an average 2B.
They showed an interview with Pedroia about the baserunning...we'll just call it "mishap" since I think we might be censored here, and his defense was understandable. He said "there were 2 outs and it was the right time to try and get into scoring position for the top of the order." It does make sense, but it would have been nice if the second-baseman didn't have time to catch the ball, turn around, watch an episode of The Office, decide which leg of DP's he wanted to tag, send a text message to the hot blonde behind the 1st base dugout, then FINALLY slap the tag down. Next time take the single big guy.
Wow, Manny just gets stranger by the day. Absolutely have to love the new hair 'do. Could anyone other than Manny pull this off? Manny had to have ridden the short bus to school. But hey if he's gonna put up 40/120/.300, who cares if he has pink hair, an orange goatee, and a water bottle in his back pocket...oh wait. Anyway here's a nice pictorial of same Manny being Manny moments over the years. Enjoy.
Bottom of the 3rd, Beckett gets into a jam after a pair of Mike Lowell errors. My guess is Lowell was distracted because the price of his Just For Men product just jumped up again. Beckett serves a fastball up to Mike Sweeney that was tagged into the right-center gap, and somehow JD Drew got to the ball to end the inning. He must have gotten confused about his contract, and thought for a minute that the incentives plan that was discussed actually got put in, and he had to make the catch to collect. Let's hope him and Boras don't take a once-over of the deal and realize it's pretty much all guaranteed money.
Everyone's talking about this being Coco Crisp's big breakout year in Boston. Supposedly we didn't see the real Coco last year because of an injured finger. Personally, I think you're all wrong and Crisp bombs again creating an opening for Wily Mo to take over CF and hit 50 homeruns between July and September. Actually that's a lie I'm buying into the Crisp breakout season theory. Especially if he does another commercial for the Red Sox Nation card with his father.
RemDawg and Donny O just reiterated my thoughts from earlier about the Sox needing to be more loose on the field. He said they were too professional and too serious last year. Turns out I might actually know what I'm talking about. Who woulda guessed it?
Sox up 3-0 in the 4th. Beckett looks like he should cruise through this one throwing 94 consistently and mixing in an 86 mph change with some slight control problems with the deuce, but I'm gonna throw in the towel early on this post. If he keeps this up, and Dice-K lives up to the hype (which after seeing 3 of his spring starts, there is no doubt in my mind he's worth the money) maybe the Big Guy at the top of the rotation might find a nice little motivation to lose a few lbs and actually get Tony Pena, Jr. out next time around. Either that or that blog title is going to become more of a reality and Curt's 38 pitches are all going to end up on the Mass Pike.
Dice-K debuts Thursday, and almost as importantly, Doug Mirabelli makes his first start of '07 on Friday. And in case you were'nt clear on Dougie's gameday routine, check it out here. Until next time, just remember, Dougie's going deep Friday night.
Feel free to drop us a note at thesportshub@gmail.com.
The phenomenal Odalis Perez gets the ball tonight for KC. If we can't beat Odalis Freakin' Perez I'm becoming a Bruins fan.
Julio Lugo leads off the game with a groundout. Have to say I am finally on the Lugo Bandwagon. I was anti-Lugo for the past 3 seasons as his name came up in Sox trade rumors constantly, but everything I've read about him gets me excited. The Orlando Cabrera comparisons are what does it for me. Everyone talks about his upbeat enthusiastic attitude, and that's something that's been missing since 2004. Hopefully Lugo brings back that loose, "have fun" mentality that led to a ring. And I think I might lose it when the first Lugo-Ortiz 15-second handshake happens on camera.
JD Drew picked up his first RBI of the season on a double. Lotta questions need to be answered concerning JD in '07. Can he live up to the contract? Can he replace Trot in RF? Will he pay homage to Trot by dousing his cap in pine tar? How long before he's on the DL? How long before the Nixon chants start up at Fenway? Does any of this even phase him in the least?
I'm gonna be the first one to say it. You will all love Dustin Pedroia by the end of this season. I saw the baserunning blunder from Opening Night like everyone else, and yea for a guy that's here for his defense and baserunning skills that was atrocious. But just wait, come September this guy is going to have a Kapler-like following in Beantown. You know, unless we send him back down to Triple-A and overspend on an average 2B.
They showed an interview with Pedroia about the baserunning...we'll just call it "mishap" since I think we might be censored here, and his defense was understandable. He said "there were 2 outs and it was the right time to try and get into scoring position for the top of the order." It does make sense, but it would have been nice if the second-baseman didn't have time to catch the ball, turn around, watch an episode of The Office, decide which leg of DP's he wanted to tag, send a text message to the hot blonde behind the 1st base dugout, then FINALLY slap the tag down. Next time take the single big guy.
Wow, Manny just gets stranger by the day. Absolutely have to love the new hair 'do. Could anyone other than Manny pull this off? Manny had to have ridden the short bus to school. But hey if he's gonna put up 40/120/.300, who cares if he has pink hair, an orange goatee, and a water bottle in his back pocket...oh wait. Anyway here's a nice pictorial of same Manny being Manny moments over the years. Enjoy.Bottom of the 3rd, Beckett gets into a jam after a pair of Mike Lowell errors. My guess is Lowell was distracted because the price of his Just For Men product just jumped up again. Beckett serves a fastball up to Mike Sweeney that was tagged into the right-center gap, and somehow JD Drew got to the ball to end the inning. He must have gotten confused about his contract, and thought for a minute that the incentives plan that was discussed actually got put in, and he had to make the catch to collect. Let's hope him and Boras don't take a once-over of the deal and realize it's pretty much all guaranteed money.
Everyone's talking about this being Coco Crisp's big breakout year in Boston. Supposedly we didn't see the real Coco last year because of an injured finger. Personally, I think you're all wrong and Crisp bombs again creating an opening for Wily Mo to take over CF and hit 50 homeruns between July and September. Actually that's a lie I'm buying into the Crisp breakout season theory. Especially if he does another commercial for the Red Sox Nation card with his father.
RemDawg and Donny O just reiterated my thoughts from earlier about the Sox needing to be more loose on the field. He said they were too professional and too serious last year. Turns out I might actually know what I'm talking about. Who woulda guessed it?
Sox up 3-0 in the 4th. Beckett looks like he should cruise through this one throwing 94 consistently and mixing in an 86 mph change with some slight control problems with the deuce, but I'm gonna throw in the towel early on this post. If he keeps this up, and Dice-K lives up to the hype (which after seeing 3 of his spring starts, there is no doubt in my mind he's worth the money) maybe the Big Guy at the top of the rotation might find a nice little motivation to lose a few lbs and actually get Tony Pena, Jr. out next time around. Either that or that blog title is going to become more of a reality and Curt's 38 pitches are all going to end up on the Mass Pike.
Dice-K debuts Thursday, and almost as importantly, Doug Mirabelli makes his first start of '07 on Friday. And in case you were'nt clear on Dougie's gameday routine, check it out here. Until next time, just remember, Dougie's going deep Friday night.
Feel free to drop us a note at thesportshub@gmail.com.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
-The Sky is Falling-
Greech
I meant to write this entry on Sunday night, before the Sox played their opener. I was going to start it with some quote from Field of Dreams. You know, something like “is this heaven?” then I probably would have wrote something terribly corny like “no, its opening day 2007!!”. Then I got sidetracked on Sunday by a combination of Facebook, napping, and stripping wall paper (this actually happened, my dad actually woke me up from the second thing to make me do this third thing). After missing my chance to write it before the game I decided that I would wait until Monday night after the game to write it. At this point I was sure I would be writing something clever about the gutsy performance Schilling put on, proving that he is, without a doubt, still our staff ace. I was going to write how Theo made a huge mistake not signing him for 13 million when he had the chance before the season and how this team was poised to win the AL East for the first time since 1995. Well as I’m sure you all (by ‘all’ I mean the four people who are going to read this) may know by now, things very rarely turn out the way you thought they would.
In case you missed the Red Sox game on Monday night, Schilling pretty much sharted all over the mound at Kauffman Stadium. In case you don’t know what ‘sharted’ means, it’s when you try to fart, but instead you give up five earned runs over four innings to the KANSAS CITY FREAKING ROYALS. I think at this point a counter offer from the Sox of 8 million, Theo’s Sega Genesis system from his sophomore year at Princeton, an endless supply of sunscreen for his kids, and an Ethernet hook up in the dugout and Schilling would jump at it.
Seriously though, you hate to bitch about it because if Schilling had gone out there and pitched 7 innings, let up three earned runs and the Sox had won, we wouldn’t be talking about any of this. He didn’t though, and now you have to be wondering if an off season spent sitting in front of a computer working on his new company, 38Studios, might have gotten in the way of his “off season workouts”. It looks like Schill is carrying some serious extra weight in the mid section, I mean, Schilling has never been a Gabe Kapler type by any means, but did Dunkin Donuts pay him in a lifetime supply of Munchkins and Coffee Coolatas???? It’
s like the episode of Seinfeld when Kramer gets a never ending supply of Cafe Lattes and they try to cut him off and he starts screaming at them. Can’t you picture a lady who barely speaks English behind the counter at some Dunkin Donuts in Somerville saying to Schilling “Mr. Curt, I sorry…I have no more glazed Munchkins left…..you have ate them all” and Schilling yelling back “You can't put a limit on my Munchkins, it says so right here. And I don't want to get dirty looks when I come in here. If I want 50 Munchkins, you give me 50 Munchkins. And if I have any problems I'm gonna get my wife Shonda Schilling down here and your gonna be in really big trouble.” The guy has never been in what you would call “great shape” but when he came in this year looking for a contract extension at the age of 40, you figured he would have at least came in weighing what he weighed last year, not tipping the scales at around what David Wells weighed last year.
As usual though, Schilling didn’t make any excuses after his horrid start, and he didn’t need to, he wasn’t the only one on the team who sharted all over the field. Julio Lugo, the new guy at shortstop, started his (probably brief) career with the Sox with three straight K’s. I’m sure that’s exactly what Theo, Bill James, and the rest of the stat crunching dorks working in Fenway’s Basement pictured when they signed him on for 4 years and 36 million. Then there was Dice-K’s Countrymen, Hideki Okajima, who gave up a home run to light hitting Royals catcher John Buck, on his FIRST PITCH EVER in the majors. I don’t care if he helps Dice-K around the locke
r room and in the clubhouse by talking about where they can get some good Japanese food or about the time him and Dice-k ran that train on one of Ichiro’s groupies in Seattle (this hasn’t happened yet, but I’m just saying…) this guy has got to go. We also found out that Justin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis couldn’t beat Christopher Reeves in a footrace, that Youkilis has apparently forgotten how to shave, that Jason Varitek might never regain the form that made him a two time All Star, and that Manny Ramirez looks more and more like The Predator with each passing day.
I meant to write this entry on Sunday night, before the Sox played their opener. I was going to start it with some quote from Field of Dreams. You know, something like “is this heaven?” then I probably would have wrote something terribly corny like “no, its opening day 2007!!”. Then I got sidetracked on Sunday by a combination of Facebook, napping, and stripping wall paper (this actually happened, my dad actually woke me up from the second thing to make me do this third thing). After missing my chance to write it before the game I decided that I would wait until Monday night after the game to write it. At this point I was sure I would be writing something clever about the gutsy performance Schilling put on, proving that he is, without a doubt, still our staff ace. I was going to write how Theo made a huge mistake not signing him for 13 million when he had the chance before the season and how this team was poised to win the AL East for the first time since 1995. Well as I’m sure you all (by ‘all’ I mean the four people who are going to read this) may know by now, things very rarely turn out the way you thought they would.
In case you missed the Red Sox game on Monday night, Schilling pretty much sharted all over the mound at Kauffman Stadium. In case you don’t know what ‘sharted’ means, it’s when you try to fart, but instead you give up five earned runs over four innings to the KANSAS CITY FREAKING ROYALS. I think at this point a counter offer from the Sox of 8 million, Theo’s Sega Genesis system from his sophomore year at Princeton, an endless supply of sunscreen for his kids, and an Ethernet hook up in the dugout and Schilling would jump at it.
Seriously though, you hate to bitch about it because if Schilling had gone out there and pitched 7 innings, let up three earned runs and the Sox had won, we wouldn’t be talking about any of this. He didn’t though, and now you have to be wondering if an off season spent sitting in front of a computer working on his new company, 38Studios, might have gotten in the way of his “off season workouts”. It looks like Schill is carrying some serious extra weight in the mid section, I mean, Schilling has never been a Gabe Kapler type by any means, but did Dunkin Donuts pay him in a lifetime supply of Munchkins and Coffee Coolatas???? It’
s like the episode of Seinfeld when Kramer gets a never ending supply of Cafe Lattes and they try to cut him off and he starts screaming at them. Can’t you picture a lady who barely speaks English behind the counter at some Dunkin Donuts in Somerville saying to Schilling “Mr. Curt, I sorry…I have no more glazed Munchkins left…..you have ate them all” and Schilling yelling back “You can't put a limit on my Munchkins, it says so right here. And I don't want to get dirty looks when I come in here. If I want 50 Munchkins, you give me 50 Munchkins. And if I have any problems I'm gonna get my wife Shonda Schilling down here and your gonna be in really big trouble.” The guy has never been in what you would call “great shape” but when he came in this year looking for a contract extension at the age of 40, you figured he would have at least came in weighing what he weighed last year, not tipping the scales at around what David Wells weighed last year.As usual though, Schilling didn’t make any excuses after his horrid start, and he didn’t need to, he wasn’t the only one on the team who sharted all over the field. Julio Lugo, the new guy at shortstop, started his (probably brief) career with the Sox with three straight K’s. I’m sure that’s exactly what Theo, Bill James, and the rest of the stat crunching dorks working in Fenway’s Basement pictured when they signed him on for 4 years and 36 million. Then there was Dice-K’s Countrymen, Hideki Okajima, who gave up a home run to light hitting Royals catcher John Buck, on his FIRST PITCH EVER in the majors. I don’t care if he helps Dice-K around the locke
r room and in the clubhouse by talking about where they can get some good Japanese food or about the time him and Dice-k ran that train on one of Ichiro’s groupies in Seattle (this hasn’t happened yet, but I’m just saying…) this guy has got to go. We also found out that Justin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis couldn’t beat Christopher Reeves in a footrace, that Youkilis has apparently forgotten how to shave, that Jason Varitek might never regain the form that made him a two time All Star, and that Manny Ramirez looks more and more like The Predator with each passing day.So while the Royals are using their day off to throw a parade around the streets of Kansas City after their victory on opening day over the Sox, the Red Sox and Red Sox Nation are forced to wait until Wednesday to get the first win of the much anticipated 2007 season under their belt. I don’t expect to lose many games like this past Wednesday’s to teams like the Royals, but you can expect to win them all either. And, no, the sky isn’t falling, things in Red Sox Nation will be ok….well, as long as D&D doesn’t run out of glazed Munchkins.
Thanks for reading, you can reach us at thesportshub@gmail.com
Thanks for reading, you can reach us at thesportshub@gmail.com
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